Me, Myself and Myself
by PsychoGemini
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen to Ryou if his father caught him talking to himself? BakuBaku pairing inside.


**Title:** Me Myself And Myself  
**Author:** Tammy Wraight  
**Category:** Comedy  
**Pairing:** Baku/Baku  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, though I do own the dvds...  
**Rating:** M for mature, brief talk about masturbation and sex... but in a funny way?  
**Warnings:** none other than the above listed  
**Spoilers:** Ryou, an office, and a shrink?  
**Notes:** This is my first ever ficlet that doesn't feature an original character of any kind. I love all my original characters, but they wouldn't have fit into this story, as it's supposed to be about Ryou and what might happen if his father ever found out about his "other half". I'm not a big fan of pairing lighter halves and darker halves because it's not really canon, I'm not a real die-hard fan of yaoi either and don't really get the whole concept or if, but this idea just seemed... cute. Hope you all enjoy!  
**Feedback:** I love feedback, I don't mind feedback at all. Flames make me weap however. I will and do appreciate more constructive criticism on either how to improve, suggestions, imput, ideas, etc...  
**Storytype: **One Shot

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"My name is Bakura Ryou, I'm sixteen years old, I attend Domino high, and I have sex with myself." 

Across the way his psychiatrist, blinked. Ryou's father had heard unusual conversations coming from Ryou's room. But he would always only hear Ryou's voice. It was an unusual thing for him to hear--his son talking to himself, like it was a normal thing.

"You have sex with... yourself?"

The psychiatrist looked at Ryou blankly, as if he were nuts or something. Though if he weren't, he probably wouldn't be in there.

"You mean, you masturbate," the psychiatrist started taking some notes as Ryou spoke, more and more intrigued by his eccentric behaviour. "It's a normal thing, all boys do it."

Ryou cringed inwardly to himself. He wished he were anywhere BUT there. The whole session made him uncomfortable, and he wished he could be anywhere else. He'd spent the last hour in there talking about school, home life, even brought up the topic of his deceased sister Amane quite a few times in between mumbles. He figured his father paid for the session, the least he could do was try and make it through the whole agonizing hour.

"No, I have sex with myself..." Ryou shrugged. "With the Other Me."

"So, you call your hand your 'Other You'?" The shrink stared at Ryou, becoming even more and more confused.

"No!" Ryou was growing impatient now, more or less, the entity that resided inside him, was becoming agitated by the shrink's repeatative questions, and ignorance. "I have sex with myself. With Another Me! as in, there's another Me prior to... me."

He didn't know how to explain it to some stranger, nor did he want to go into detail with it or want to. Ryou was back in control now for the most part. He seemed calmer, more poised. The shrink adjusted his glasses and lowered his eyes to meet Ryou's own.

"I see, and you talk with this Other you?" he asked, scribbling on his notepad.

"Well," Ryou blushed, pressing his two index fingers together. "A little more than that..."

/Kill him, Yadonoushi-sama! kill, make him pay.../

The voice rang from inside Ryou's head. Ryou became temporarily blank for a moment as he retreated into his soul room to converse with his Other.

/You're ruining my life! go away.../ Ryou pleaded.

His other simply laughed at him and purred.

/Silly Yadonoushi-sama! don't be ridiculous, you know you enjoy every minute of it.../

Yami no Bakura had been right about one thing, though. Ryou did enjoy it--he just wished that it didn't have to end up landing him in a shrink's office. He had no way how to describe the relationship with Yami no Bakura. Why he sometimes talked to himself--or how to make the shrink believe that he really DID have an entity residing inside him.

/Let me take over.../ the spirit purred. /I'll show him how real I am.../

Ryou protested, "no! get out of my head!"

Blinking, the shrink glanced up through his notes. He had been contemplating on whether or not to have Ryou admitted. Ryou's outburst had taken him by complete and total surprise.

"I beg your pardon?" the shrink said, cocking his head to the side to study Ryou a bit.

Ryou managed to regain his focus and attention all back on the shrink now. He could only hang his head.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said apologetically, he checked his wwatch, relieved the session was over. "Sorry, the session is over. I have to go...!"

Quickly, Ryou gathered up his things and made a quick retreat out of the office. Face incredibly flushed and full of embarrassment. It was worse than having to stand up in front of a class and present an oral presentation. He probably would have preferred that over this.

The shrink watched Ryou go, "what a strange boy."

With that, he proceeded to finishing up his evaluation.

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**A/N: **I more than likely won't be adding to this. It's a one shot. I was just having fun. And my archive is pretty bleak. I need to start filling it up a little, even if it's only drabbles. I do have a YGO fiction in the works that isn't a drabble I may soon be posting, so keep checking back ;) 


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